I moved into college August 29th, and this past week has, by far, been the roughest one yet. School hit hard this week - I had a speech due on Monday and then a paper due on Tuesday.
And, of course, it's never that simple. I turned in my paper only to have my teacher tell me it wasn't what she wanted and that my only choice was to rewrite it. I spent that night pouring over my notes again, trying to find something I hadn't seen before and trying not to completely collapse under the stress and embarassment.
We get through life's curveballs.
I think the other aspect that made this week particularly rough was that it's Parents' and Family Weekend on campus. I was home last weekend, and it was fantastic, so I didn't expect to feel so disappointed to be spending my time with Italian homework instead of my family. The nostalgia hits so hard, though. I miss my mom's overbearing hugs and my dad's life advice. I miss the fact that my sister is going to her first Homecoming dance tonight, and I'm not there to help her with her hair or zip up her dress.
I miss high school, too. The football games, the school spirit, the never ending love for each other and our class. You think that it lasts forever or that, at the very least, other people will be able to relate to the same struggle in college. I've found, though, that other people just didn't have the same kind of school spirit. Maybe we were lucky because we wanted to debunk the big high school myth: we wanted to matter to each other.
And I know that a lot of people didn't know who I was and that they wouldn't recognize me tomorrow, but it's okay. I had friends who loved me more than I could ever love myself, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
So, I miss the people and places and their weird traditions. I miss how my life used to be, because no matter how great it's becoming, I still worry that the best years have already come and gone.
No comments:
Post a Comment